Funny Biblical Name: Abiasaph
This dude shows up in Exodus 6:24. Pronounced phonetically: ahh BEE uh sef. It means “father of maple syrup.” Not to be confused with his lesser-known brother, Abiapooh.
Psalm 51:2
Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
What is mine iniquity, you might be asking? My girlfriend caught me looking at porn on thine Internet. Damn her.
Amos 2:3
And I will cut off the judge from the midst thereof, and will slay all the princes thereof with him, saith the Lord.
“What the hell is this about?” saith Me. And who the Hell is Amos? Good thing I had Wikipedia to look him up as I’ve never heard of him. It turns out, he was a sheep herder and sycamore fig farmer who later became a prophet. Still about 750 years before I was born, but somebody must have thought this dude was important since he’s got a whole damn chapter in My book.
Good for him. I always like to see fig farmers make something out of themselves.
Job 6:6
Can that which is unsavoury be eaten without salt? or is there any taste in the white of an egg?
Now, I didn’t say this.This was Job, a pretty notable prophet. My dad let Satan take all his money and kids and this guy didn’t do shit about it. And what the hell kind of question is this anyway? I think he was just trying to divert people from realizing he was a wuss by asking stupid questions. And good job on misspelling “unsavory.” Bozo.
Recent Comments